No virus zone

I am slowly crawling out of the hole that is this disease. On Friday I got showered and dressed in the morning and declared myself cured, but that didn't work. On Saturday, I stayed in my pajamas and watched movies on the couch all day, but that didn't work either. On Sunday, I thought I might actually be well, but then I discovered that an hour and a half of sitting in church was pretty much the limit of what I could handle for the day, exertion-wise.

Today I have gotten dressed, worked a little, and gone out shopping, and still haven't felt the need to lie down on the couch with my box of Kleenex. Though if I was truly well, I would have gone to yoga, so I'm not quite back to my normal self yet.

I was hoping that Paleo eating would mean a fast recovery, but after a few days, the problem became that I was too pathetic to cook, and no one else particularly wanted to whip up complicated, delicious dishes that met my strict dietary requirements. The fasting thing went right out the window, too. I figured it made more sense to eat whenever my body decided was a good time.

And so now I don't care what anyone says about jinxing, because as soon as I have the strength, I am taking such immaculate care of myself that I am never getting sick again. Mark my words.

Something tells me I'm getting predictable

So I was telling my 13-year-old about this video I watched today:

"It's a talk given by this woman who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which is an incurable disease. It makes your brain shrink and messes up your balance and motor control. She was taking the medicine for it and everything, but she just kept getting worse and worse, and pretty soon she couldn't even sit up in a normal chair but had to use in a special reclining chair. But this woman is also a doctor, so she did a bunch of research and found out about some vitamins that might help her, and they did slow down the disease but didn't stop it. So then—"

"Let me guess. She started eating Paleo and now she's cured."

Well…smarty pants…actually, yeah. But it's still pretty amazing. The great thing is she's now involved in clinical studies that will help see if her experience might help others as well. I linked to the video at right under "We have a choice."

Cooking

I must be feeling a bit better because I spent a lot of time in the kitchen today. (On the other hand, I had to sit down and rest frequently, so not a lot better.)

First I made some turkey sausage patties for breakfast. I didn't have all the spices called for in the recipe, but I used salt, pepper, fennel, thyme, garlic, cloves, and nutmeg. Verdict: Very tasty, super easy, and nice to have something other than bacon with my eggs once in a while. But next time I will skip the cloves and nutmeg, because that tasted as odd as it sounds.

I found some spaghetti squash at the store the other day, so next I decided to try it and see if you could really use it in place of spaghetti. I also made meatballs that I was sure the kids would eat; they were basically just balls of hamburger with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and fennel mixed in. (But I made sure to grind the fennel up first so they would never suspect they were eating something new.) Verdict: I wouldn't want to eat the spaghetti squash plain, but with sauce and mushrooms and meatballs all over it, you can't really taste it at all, so I'd say it was a success. It looks cool, too! And the kids seemed to like the stripped-down meatballs. Or at least they were eaten without dinnertime heartbreak. Close enough. (I cooked them real noodles and didn't make them try the squash.)

Finally, I took another stab at a cookie recipe I've been working on. They're not Paleo, because they contain chocolate chips with sugar, but frankly, they're a step up from the Frosted Mini-Wheats the kids used to eat all day. They're made from almond butter, apples, cocoa powder, coconut milk, coconut flour, salt, and chocolate chips. They're not really sweet enough right now unless you load them up with the chocolate chips, but I'm experimenting to see how many apples I can get in there before anyone notices that they actually contain apples. Verdict: I loaded this batch with chocolate chips, so they were pretty awesome. The look and texture is exactly like "normal" cookies, and they are almost sweet enough. I'll post my recipe if I ever get it just right. It's pretty darn good for a low-sugar, wheat-free, egg-free, dairy-free cookie.

Color commentary

From the now-well 13-year-old:

"Mom, I told you not to keep saying you never get sick. Now you've jinxed yourself." Beat. "I mean, there, there."

Helpful definitions

Headaches, sore throats, and fatigue don't necessarily mean anything. You might not be at your best, but you can still get through your day. Here's how you can tell when "fighting off a virus" crosses that fine line over into "sick":

• Your body is producing enough mucus to inconvenience you.
• Every time you stand up, you think, "Oh, I shouldn't be standing."
• You don't speak loudly enough to be heard because you haven't the strength.
• You stop caring about the side effects of NSAIDs.
• The warmth of the space heater is nice, but you need to move it farther away because you can't tolerate the blowing.

Moan.

Immune system under fire

This weekend, I decided to test my frequently made claim that I never get sick by locking myself in various small spaces with a 13-year-old germ machine. Just to add to the challenge, I ate a bunch of fast food, didn't get enough water, and stayed awake all night listening to coughing.

Translation: The 11-year-old had an out-of-town swim meet, and even through his brother had been sick, we decided to bring him anyway and hope for the best. He never really got any better, though, so it was a long weekend in a small hotel room for everyone.

I do feel pretty poorly right now. But I'm going to say it's 35% crap-food hangover, 40% lack-of-sleep hangover, and 25% fighting off a virus. So I don't know if I'm going to count it as being sick. I would hate to end my streak over a tiny sore throat and a bit of fatigue. And a headache.

Yeah, I'm doing just great. Shut up.

(Hey, the swim meet itself was pretty successful, though. The boy improved a lot of his times, some of them impressively, and also swam the mile for the first time. He now says it's his favorite event, and his coach has nicknamed him "Ironman." Awww.)

Verdict: I am cuckoo

I finished off my November Health Month "game"—the big payoff at the end was a load of virtual "fruit" and the phrase "Verdict: You are awesome." It's not much, but I'll take it. :)

I broke one of my eating rules around Thanksgiving (gasp), but by far the hardest thing was limiting my Internet time-wasting to an hour a day. I did it, but I absolutely hated it, especially the necessity of using a timer to keep track. And after all that effort, I don't feel one bit less addicted to blog-reading or even slightly reformed about time-wasting.

But today I added my new rule, which is to do 20 minutes of housework every day. (Cooking and dishes don't count; I'm talking bathrooms and vacuums and clutter here.) I used an online timer for that, too, but counting down was fun and rewarding. I was happy the whole time I was cleaning, and when the alarm went off, I was all, "Verdict: I am awesome!!" I looked around and thought to myself, "Finally I'll be able to get all this cleaned up and organized!"

And then: Wait. Stop right there. What the tasty pie?

What, exactly, was stopping me from getting things cleaned up and organized before? Lack of a rule? Whatever is wrong with my brain that I do this to myself?