Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The Month of Blissful Ignorance: Day Four

It seems stupid to talk about something as frivolous as my social media challenge in light of my grandmother’s recent death, but it raises some interesting questions for me.

By deliberately not telling my social network about her passing, are there people who would genuinely like to know who will not find out at all, or not for a while? Would I get some comfort from posting about it on Facebook and receiving a flood of sympathetic comments? Is this an occasion where it makes more sense to break my resolution long enough to let my friends know? The answers are I don’t know, I don’t know, and I don’t know.

I seem to remember that when my grandfather died in 2009, I didn’t do anything more than post the obituary I had written as a note on my Facebook page. (Oh, and since he was also my Scrabble buddy, I challenged all my friends to tribute games of Facebook Scrabble.) I can’t remember whether either of those things helped.

A final thought: I’ve noticed before that I automatically twitch to Facebook or Twitter whenever I encounter something hard, something boring, something frustrating, something annoying. I can now add “something sad” to that list—there are other (healthy and unhealthy) ways to numb pain, of course, but it’s shocking to think how much I would be using social media for that if it were an option.


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  2. I posted a note on my office door that I was mourning recent losses (including Chris' dad) and would be there "intermittently." As if to answer your question, today one of the building tenants brought me a sympathy card signed by a few dozen strangers. I was stunned and of course it made me cry! So I believe it must be the right thing to do, to be open with one's loss, inviting invite compassionate responses from others, who then can assist with the grieving process. #socialanimals

    1. That's very sweet! Of course it was a "real" interaction, not just a Facebook one.

  3. Well if it makes you feel better, I have tagged you on a couple of things so some of your friends know. I find that it helps to see kind words and encouragement. Soldier on dear sister!