Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A sugar confession/manifesto

I didn't go on any strict, specific diet for the month of January, but I did stop eating my weight in chocolate candy…eventually. You know, after the candy ran out.

It was ridiculous how over the course of last year I transitioned from "no sugar at all" to "only tiny bits of pure maple syrup and whatnot" to "a little sugar is not really so bad and can't realistically be entirely avoided" to "eat all the sugar as fast as you can, before someone else gets it."

I did not cave on my no-gluten stance, so I wasn't eating cookies, cakes, pies, and all the other junk that was so readily available between Thanksgiving and New Year's—just chocolate and lots of it. Because of that, I never felt too awful, but my pants started fitting tighter, and I got both a pimple and a nasty canker sore. I haven't had either of those in so long that I sort of forgot they existed, so I'm hoping that writing it down will help me remember to stay out of Category IV—"eat all the sugar as fast as you can, before someone else gets it"—and keep closer to somewhere between Category II and Category III.

Because I do think Category II½—"go ahead and make Paleo cookies for your family once in a while, and don't be afraid to join in when everyone is having s'mores around the campfire, for heaven's sake"—is the sane and logical approach to sugar. It's just a slippery slope, is all.


  1. I can understand feeling this way about gin, but not sugar. Sugar bores me. I know a young lady however who will steal, cheat, sneak, lie and horde - whatever it takes. What gives, O Wise One?

    1. They say it's as addictive as cocaine—maybe you have the good fortune to be missing that chromosome. (As I lack the gin one.) "Steal, cheat, sneak, lie, and horde" pretty much exactly describes me on a sugar binge, though, so I don't think I have any advice for someone who's not old enough to care about the health consequences.

      Wait, I do have some for you, though. If you could at least eliminate the sugar and grains from her breakfast (assuming she's a cereal, toast, pancake, and/or muffin eater) by switching over to eggs and meat and vegetables, that it does delay the sugar cravings for a few hours. A lot of people think that sounds like a weird breakfast, but it's delicious, and there are tons of things you can make.

      Once I have my first sugar of the day, it's basically all over and I can't stop eating it until I make myself sick. That's why I try to take a nearly-cold-turkey approach.