GREAT resolutions for February

Like everyone else in America at the end of January, I am so over my resolutions. But, unlike everyone else in America at the end of January, I have a fresh set waiting in the wings! Here’s the final masterpiece of New Life Planning:

• Goal: Be able to do 10 push-ups by the end of the month.
• Rule: Clean for 15 minutes every day (possibly excepting my birthday).
• Errand: Apply for a passport.
• Adventure: Try workouts from several different online strength programs.
• Theme: “44.” Planning to turn 44, walk/run 44 miles, and give 44 things to charity.

February shouldn’t be a hugely busy work month for me, so I decided to make this set of resolutions a bit more challenging and sneak a few more rule-ish elements into my Theme. That (along with the fact that we really have let the house go a bit lately) helped me to finally settle on what I’ve come to think of as the “15-minute maid” concept as my official Rule. And I’ve replaced “Appreciation” with “Adventure”—which is my shorthand for trying something new.

My main goal in putting these together was to choose things I might not have done otherwise but will be really happy about once they’re done. I guess that’s the very definition of a resolution, but it’s still been helpful for me to think of them that way. Having done January’s stuff makes me kind of happy, but I gave much more thought to February, so I hope it will be even better.

#blessed

I’m trying to make sure my January resolutions are all checked off before the month comes to an end, and I distinctly remember that part of the deal was that I was supposed to blog about my Appreciation topic. Groan. A sappy post about how much I’m thankful for my health? I think not.

So I’m really thankful that I’m in charge of this rule, because I’m changing it. I will keep my gratitude to myself, and you will just have to trust me that I did a super-great job of feeling it.

Actually, if I can think of a better A, I might just change the whole thing altogether. Because (again, just trust me on this) a sense of gratitude is not something I ever lack or need to work on. And it makes me feel gross and squirmy to force myself to write about it.

Now, what’s another word for “rule” that starts with A?

A baby step toward weight training

Everything I read, everything I hear, everything I already believe to be true, and everything I have experienced firsthand tells me I need to be lifting weights. And yet I’m not. I know exactly why. It’s uncomfortable and awkward to get started, the “real weights” section of the gym is so intimidating (even for me, and I have some experience there), and there’s so much else on my fitness to-do list. If I’m lifting weights several times a week, when am I going to do yoga and swim and run and walk and take those spin classes everyone knows I adore so much?

Okay, maybe not the spin classes, but if I want to train for a triathlon, then I do have to get on some sort of bike at some point.

I’m thinking the thing to do is to start really small with a couple of things I can do at home: push-ups and pull-ups. I was doing so well on push-ups (10 in a row!) before I decided that they were detrimental to my shoulder recovery; now I’m not sure I can do any. And I have a pull-up bar in my line of sight for 10 hours a day, but it’s been more than a decade since I did anything close to a single pull-up.

It might be a bit ambitious, but being able to do 10 push-ups and one pull-up seems like a good goal for February. I mean Goal.

Yay, milestone

My big goal for the month was to finish editing M.H.’s book, and as of now I have—sort of. I conveniently forgot that editing leads to rewriting, which leads to more editing, which leads to more rewriting, which leads to more editing, and that it’s possible to continue on like that for infinity time.

But the rest of the work is probably going to be collaborative, so for the purposes of January resolutions, let’s just call this one a cha-ching!

Spin fail

I tried really hard to like spin class today. I even started a blog post where I humorously listed all the positive things about it. But it made me want to vomit (the post, not the class).

Then I went to work for a while and within a few minutes found myself quite literally yelling at all of the following:

• Microsoft Word (no huge surprise there).
• My teacup (it spilled very hot liquid on me).
• My socks (they were twisty).

I thought M.H. was exaggerating when he expressed the concern that spin class was going to make me come home and yell at him. (Note to self: Never doubt that man.)

The weird thing is there wasn’t really anything wrong with the class. I was irritated that the instructor used the word “cheating” about 80 times—sitting down is “cheating,” taking more resistance off than instructed is “cheating,” and so on, plus she told us again that it was okay if we “hated” her—but overall I thought I enjoyed it more than last week.

Yet…I am undeniably grumpy. Maybe I’ll try one more time next week, just for the sake of science.

For the love of “Rules”

“Rule” is easily the most coveted slot in my new monthly resolution framework; I just love making rules for myself. I’ve thought of at least ten really good ones for February and don’t know how I’m going to choose. I may have to consider turning my Goal into a disguised Rule—something like “Try two new classes at the gym every week”—except that Goal is easily the second-most coveted slot in the framework and I already have five or six great ideas for that.

There’s a downside to all this planning (I mean other than basically confessing in a public forum that I’m ridiculous). For example, one of my top contenders for a February Rule is something along the lines of “Spend about 15 minutes every day doing some sort of household cleaning task above and beyond the daily stuff.” And then I look out my filthy kitchen window and think, “I can’t clean it now because I have to save myself enough housework for February.”

Yes, I am hard at work over here saving myself enough housework for February. Sigh.

Spin class

Me: “I’m off to spin class. I think I’m going to wear earplugs and drink hot green tea instead of water.”
M.H.: “Those earplugs are going to sweat right out of your ears.”
Me: “Oh, I’m not planning to sweat. But I guess it would be better to take a water bottle.”
M.H.: “You may not sweat, but you’ll still get wet from all the people around you sweating.”
Me: “If I take the Ironman water bottle, that might give me enough street cred that they don’t even notice I’m not doing the real workout.”
M.H.: “Sploosh! Sploosh! Sploosh!”

We had a conversation after spin class, too. But it was mostly me ranting about spin class and M.H. begging me never to go to spin class again.

HOWEVER, I was right that peer pressure (and music) got me to do a lot more biking than I would have otherwise. I did the parts of the class I wanted to do and ignored the parts I didn’t. I also ignored the instructor’s encouragement—e.g., “You can hate me later, just don’t quit now!”—because I am a grown woman who can decide this kind of thing for herself. I mean, seriously, I find that statement so ridiculous. How about if instead I just do as much as I feel is appropriate and continue to keep my personal feelings about you neutral to positive?

But I know I am strangely irrational on this subject, and I feel more ranting coming on, so let me just cut myself off right there and say that the earplugs were an excellent call, I really liked the music, I did sweat a little, I was happy with my workout, and I am leaning toward going back next week.