Parallel universe

I saw the words "Lose a Marathon" on one of the blogs I read, and I was instantly intrigued. Lose a marathon? Hey, my specialty!

It turned out she was actually talking about weight loss; her idea is to lose 26.2 pounds in the next 13 weeks, and she's giving out prizes to random participants. I'm all about winning things on the Internet (and good at it, too), so I joined right up, with the caveat that I did not actually want to lose a marathon but maybe had a 5k in me.

(Or maybe not. I seem to have plateaued in the low 160s, and even though I dream of supermodel thighs, I acknowledge that this very well could be a healthy weight for me. The BMI calculator puts me in the normal range. And, as one of my favorite bloggers explains, fat is a vital organ.)

But this "marathon" challenge! Part of it is belonging to a Facebook group where people discuss their weight-loss strategies. Knowing what I now know about the human body, these people's comments are driving me BER-SERK. They keep talking about snacking on 100-calorie cracker packs and whether they should order the salmon at some restaurant because it's 652 calories and all they have left in their "budget" is 500. ("Oh," someone will respond, "watch out for the salads there, too.")

Part of me just expected that as I learned about nutrition and homeostasis and the right way to exercise, the rest of the world was somehow reading the same stuff and coming along for the ride. (What's the matter with them? Don't they read my blog?) This parallel universe of calorie restriction and rice cakes and an hour on the elliptical is vaguely familiar, but that doesn't make it any less horrifying.

IMPORTANT: If you are a woman who is even vaguely interested in her health, please read the article I linked to under "homeostasis." In fact, if you're feeling lazy, call me up and I'll read it to you.