Anyway, my new food processor is cool. I have so much to tell you about it that it calls for a list:
Five Things I Suggest You Do with a Food Processor
- Peel a head of garlic (in less than 10 seconds), throw it in there, and make a little bowl of chopped garlic to facilitate future cooking. Don't worry about it going bad in the fridge. It's only about a day and a half's worth if you cook like I do.
- Coarsely chop a head of cauliflower, throw it in, and create insta-perfect cauliflower rice. You don't even need to cook it beforehand, because once the pieces are rice-sized, they steam or fry in about 15 seconds flat.
- Disintegrate vegetables. Carrots! Broccoli! Onions! Everything is better in tiny chunks. My aunt says she even pulses Brussels sprouts for a few seconds to get a big pile of leaves, which sounds amazing. (I don't think my food processor is big enough for that, though.)
- Let seven or eight frozen strawberries defrost in the food processor for an hour or so (this is for the safety of the little food processor, which nearly self-destructed when I tried this with hard-frozen ones). Then push the button, and when they start getting creamy, add a couple tablespoons of coconut milk and about a teaspoon of vanilla and pulse some more. (You could do honey, too, if you haven't temporarily banned all sweeteners like I have.) Bam, ice cream! Eat it now.
- Turn almonds into almond flour. Almond flour is ridiculously expensive, but almonds aren't too bad. So make your own almond flour. Then do this: Pour some coarse almond flour and some salt into a nonstick pan, along with some coconut oil. Cut in the coconut oil as it melts, like you were making pie crust. Cook it over medium-high heat until it smells really good and starts to brown. Then cool and sprinkle over anything. Or just eat with a spoon. My son calls these "random crunchies" and prefers the spoon method.