I can't believe I've failed to mention my life-changing pizza crust breakthrough. The recipes I was working with were pretty close, but they were missing one secret ingredient: parchment paper. Like, to bake it on.
I'm still tweaking the recipe, but this one works pretty well:
2 egg whites
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
2 Tbsp Parmesan cheese
4 Tbsp ground flaxseed
2 cups fresh spinach, wilted in a skillet and then dried with a paper towel and chopped
Mix everything and spread it onto your parchment-paper-covered pizza pan with the back of a spoon. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes, and then flip over and bake for 15 more. Add (pre-cooked) toppings and cheese and put under a broiler for 4-5 minutes until cheese is just melted. (Yes, I put cheese on the top even though the crust is basically made of cheese.)